Thursday, August 20, 2009

Being a Big Girl

First off, I want to address the title of this post. No, it is not a self deprecating comment about my height or weight, ( in fact I am finally able to fit into my daisy dukes, which I haven't been able to wear for about a year. Whadup, vegetarianism!!)

This post is about me being a grown up. Or learning to be. It's been hard, as it should be I suppose, moving away from home to a city where I don't really know anyone. But I'm surviving, and I dare say, truly enjoying the little life I've made for myself up here. I've been working a lot, sort of saving money, I've made friends, I've gotten to know some of the city's best cafes and restaurants and local events, and I start school in 5 days. I have a reason to be here, and the thought of having to leave for any reason makes me genuinely sad. Sad to leave the city that I am proud to call my home.

There are funny (not funny "haha", funny peculiar) moments where I feel like a 35 year old, and others where I feel like a lost child. More often than not, though, I feel like things are moving at a good steady pace, and am embracing the prospects of adulthood as I near my 20th birthday.

That being said, the future is scary and uncertain in so many ways, and being the chronic worry wart that I am, this is a constant damper on my San Francisco joie de vivre. Career wise I have no idea what I should do. Or where I can/should do it. I'm really liking the idea of being a writer: screen, blogs, entertainment magazines. I love the idea of being involved in film, and now and then my heart aches for the stage. But then I make myself a nice little dinner and remember my love of foodie culture and haute cuisine... and the I use a phrase like "haute cuisine" and I miss studying French!! Plus, the Cal State "general ed" system paired with budget cuts hasn't really offered me anything of real interest or personal significance, so I have at least another year of bullshit classes. I keep wondering if it's worth it. And what happens if and when I graduate? Do I move back to LA or stay here? If I stay here what on earth will I do and how will I pay for it??? 

(I apologize for the rambling and excessive use of punctuation, but I just finished a much needed double cappuccino, and let me say, when I am caffeinated blog inspiration strikes like lightening.)

In short I feel like I have it together, on a day-to-day basis, but as for the future? Total crap shoot.

Is it always going to be like this?

On a lighter note, let's finish with a song, shall we?

I just recently watched "Punch Drunk Love" and looooved it. I love everything that P.T. Anderson does, especially the music he uses. Specifically Jon Brion's stuff. It's just money in the bank. I liked this song so much that I posted it on facebook, and my cool former coworker, Ana, "liked" and so did Mikey B, so I'm quite certain that I'm not alone in my love of this song.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Coffee shops enable my existence.

Oh dear, it's been another long span between blog posts. I think this just might be the rate at which I do this from here on out. Don't fret; I'm sure you'll all adjust eventually. (If you are really feeling Cait-withdrawl, you can text me and I'll respond with some sassy observation about life, just to hold you over until my next highly anticipated pop-culture-imitating-life-type musing.)

First and foremost I must let you know that I am currently sitting in the second coffee shop I've camped out in today.  It's right on Church, and while the coffee and food are nothing exceptional, the wifi is free, and the outlets are a-plenty. It's quite spacious for SF and I've thouroughly enjoyed it so far. Earlier today I was at Philz, just off of Castro. Philz has fancy brewed coffee, flavored with cardamom, chocolate, and a whole host of spices that I can't name, but I can assure you that they are nothing short delish. I was there for about three hours, but what that place had in lovely coffee it lacked in space and outlets. So onward and upward. 

I've always liked coffee, but since I've been properly trained on the barista bar (btw, my hands permanently smell of ground espresso now) I have become a bona fide coffee snob. I realize I cant' always be such a snob, especially on a student budget, (hello, I'm sipping cheap mediocre coffee right now because of the stupid "economy" or whatever) I have allowed myself to indulge in really good overpriced coffee. 
Blue Bottle- great coffee, but sort of off putting vibe. B
Philz- good brewed, nice atmosphere, really friendly staff, B+
and finally my new favorite: 
Four Barrel- great coffee, great vibe, a certain degree of pretension? yes.
But how pretentious can they really be if they are playing Hall & Oates greatest hits?
They get an A!

On the work front, things are good. My work friends are all really great, and while my aching feet might say otherwise, I enjoy working. A lot. 

Moze is leaving on Tuesday which is so sad. I have to give him a lot a credit for how fun this summer has been. He was such a pleasant surprise and I wouldn't have changed anything about the summer we have spent together.

I'm a little stressed about school. I feel behind in my credits and so many classes have been cut due to the budget crisis is California. Some obscene number like $600 million was cut form CSU. I'm just hoping I get into two more classes, and hopefully I'll still be able to work weekends. Gotta make that money right? 

Any who, I miss my family, I'm going to miss Moze, and I'm going to miss working as much as I do. I know it's just foaming milk for yuppies in the FiDi, but still, I feel really productive and grown up. I guess I just hate homework. But I'm trying to stay positive. Fall will be great. I think. I mean, Where the Wild Things Are comes out on my 20th birthday, so it can't be all that bad.

Here is a little music to end with. One of my last posts featured a song by a band called Grizzly Bear. Well, one of the singers in that band is named Daniel Rossen,and when he's not busy being adorable, he is also in another band called Department of Eagles. I dare say I like them better than Grizzly Bear. Here is the video for their song "No One Does It Like You Do."

Also, I've been listening to their pandora station all day and it's been real tasty: The Shins, Guster, Dr. Dog, Andrew Bird, Fleet Foxes. Good stuff.